Thursday, 11 September 2014

Vapid Pt II *

So that's 13 or 14 weeks now of vaping instead of smoking. Nice. And during that time the World Health Organisation has come out with some vacuous shit about the "perils" of e-cigarettes subsequently kicked in the chops by an actual study issued by University College London. But, that's by the by because reflecting on my own experience as an actual and current non-smoker its the whole re-normalization of smoking tosh the Welsh BMI is trotting out to justify banning smoking in public places that gets me.

By this they appear to mean e-cigarettes act as a gateway to the real thing, an argument we already know, love and laugh at in relation to hash and heroin. I say laugh because only a non-smoker could take such bollocks seriously. Here's why:

Its a joke because smoking is disgusting, like really disgusting. When you start smoking you have to persevere and I do mean persevere; to begin with you turn green, you go light headed, it burns your throat, you cough, you gag, it stinks, jezuz christ it's expensive, it stinks, you feel sick, it really stinks, you cough some more.

Time passes, days become weeks become months until eventually you can take a proper draw of a fag, a French inhale even, without retching. Finally, you think you look THAT cool and can smoke without retching (my "thang" was to play guitar with a fag hanging out the side of my mouth).

E-cigarettes avoid all that bollocks; for over 3 months now I've been getting my nicotine fix without smelling, retching, gagging, coughing, turning green or setting tenners on fire every day. In fact I only actually associate with smokers because the dumb fuck anti-smoking lobby has forced me to hang out with them down at smokers' corner!

And in our no pain all gain consumer society it's difficult to see why anyone other than the dumbest of fucks would swap a relatively painless and cheap electronic simulation for the real deal. And anyway, anyone that dumb is going to do dumb shit regardless.

As for the WHO shite about how the efficacy of e-cigs hasn't been proven, well I don't actually know anyone whose tried a proper e-cig alternative and then reverted to the real thing meaning they really do work, and that's despite the anti-smoking lobby's best efforts.

* Yes electronic hookahs do look like a sonic screwdriver, which is kinda cool / appealing to kids. But no one in the anti-smoking lobby has made that argument yet, so feck 'em.

Jan 15  - a 6 month's not a single fag PS; so that's my dentist now explained to me all teh mouth medical benefits of using an e-cigarette instead of the real deal. And I still have to go outside for a puff (actually I don;t, they are pretty much odourless so I can sneak a sly puff in an empty office at work

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