Wednesday, 23 March 2011

Crystal Balls part 2

Again with the stats function. But, was way cool today cos it turned out someone was daft enough today to page impression my 2 and a bit year old post about how to anticipate a financial crisis. That focussed largely on language/spin and organisational dynamics, however, thanks to the deep, deep insight of Harriet Harman I reckon it can be expanded to include penis extensions.

Back in the day Harriet queried whether there would have been a financial crisis if more women had been in charge, like what if it had been Lehman Sisters rather than Lehman Brothers. Oh how witty. And how fucking stupid for the most part given I mind I had a spell working in a largely female environment and even setting aside the Robbie Williams calendars, the start the day bitching about how such and such was a bit old for that outfit and being quietly advised to be gentle to such and such because they’ve got some women’s things on the go (honestly, the reality was as fucking clich├ęd as a Bernard Manning routine), there was just as many aggressive women as men in the largely male environments I’ve also worked in. But, what even the most aggressive woman didn’t have was that much interest in penis extensions.

This is actually a bad thing because more women would make financial crises harder to spot. My original post focused on how doing some finance that was patently stupid was a sign something was amiss. However, deciding what is and isn’t stupid is open to debate and debates take time and are ultimately only ever resolved with the benefit of hindsight. Thankfully penis extensions provide a more reliable and straightforward guide.

What we also saw in the run up to the credit crunch was a number of what I discovered tonight Top Gear presenters call a “Concorde moment”. For them that possibly means pinnacles of engineering genius that enrich our very lives by showing what it’s possible for man to achieve. For everyone else it means throwing money without question at the construction of a super-duper penis extension. And on reflection in the run up to the credit crunch we had plenty. Sticking with Top Gear for a moment longer there was the Bugatti Veyron, the fastest ever thingy. Elsewhere there were those towers in Dubai, the most erect thingies ever while across the globe huge ships were also being ordered . The point is, as Canary Wharf highlighted the last time there was a financial crisis in the UK, I reckon that whenever 2 or more biggest, fastest, tallest, most expensive, girthiest things start getting built, its time to get a bit nervous.